I just walked downstairs and overheard my wife talking on the phone to someone about sleep deprivation. She said she thought she knew all about the subject in college, but now she says she had no clue then because it did not involve a screaming baby. We are more popular on the phone now because we have a screaming 5 week old.
Nancy was cackling up a storm as I walked into the kitchen where she involved me in the conversation she was having with a former colleague of hers. The woman illuminated scenarios that could develop for us with our baby. She shared how her currently 2 and 1/2 year old toddler told her, with the utmost sympathy, that he was sorry SHE did not have a penis. There's a kid who's secure in himself.
I'm back upstairs typing this as I hear Nathaniel crying; in eleven minutes it will be 4 hours since he was fed. Don't get me wrong, he's a good boy even though at 4:30 AM today as I was feeding him in a comatose state (me, not him) he began straining and arching as loud gutteral noises flowed from his larynx or pharynx or whatever it's called (again, I'm not going to look it up right now.)
Moral of the story - make sure the diaper is on snugly or you will get goo-like feces on your groin, belly and wedding ring if a mother lode ever comes your way. The little whipper-snapper.
I hope getting such goo on my wedding ring is not symbolic of what the stress of this child will do to our marriage.
Surely it is not.
